Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Twas The Night Before Kindergarten

Twas the night before Kindergarten and all through our flat
Not a creature was a flutter, not even a bat
All of the new supplies were placed neatly in her pack
It is so heavy I pray it won't break her back.

My big girl, no longer a baby, was nestled all down in her bunk bed
Goodness, I hope she doesn't wake up tomorrow with bedhead
And Daddy holding still, and I in a puddle of tears
Both sat on the sofa in quiet thinking it couldn't have been already five years.

Wasn't it just yesterday we were in Guatemala holding our new baby girl
Rocking slowly and running our fingers through her soft curls
It is like a dream how quickly the time has flown bye
To say I don't miss those early days, even the hard ones, would be a lie.

Tomorrow starts a new chapter in her life full of new stories yet to be told
I am sure some will make my eyes want to roll
She will be surrounded by new ideas, new pressures, new friends
Her Daddy and I can only hope and pray that her good heart does not bend.

But tonight I hope she sleeps well and has a beautiful Kindergarten dream
Tomorrow will come soon enough, and she will have to start walking on that beam
But her Daddy and I will cheer her on daily, catch her if she has a trip and fall
Just as we did while she was learning to walk and to crawl.

Looking at her now I can see how big she has grown
I know that she is ready, even if I am feeling quite blown
My dear Kinder girl tomorrow maybe a day that in your memories that might not last
Daddy and I will always remember it as the day that came too fast.

Friday, February 25, 2011

It'll Be A Miracle

if she makes it to 5! Remember that commercial?! That is our Puddle through and through!

Well Charlotte has done it! She has now had more ER visits then she is old.

-July 4, 2008 Rolled off of our bed landed on her head-December 2008 uncontrolled vomiting, that turned bloody-June/July 2009 Respiratory distress related to croup-February 25 2011 Went to run to get a train tripped landed mouth first on our glider.

I felt a little like Tim Taylor this morning when we walked into the ER this morning.

Out of the now four trips, today's comes in a very close second to the respiratory distress. It was traumatic in every sense of the word. The initial injury wasn't so bad. Once we got her calmed down. It became the game of should we go to the ER or not. I hate that game. Finally we called her doctor she advised it better to have her looked at, if for no other reason then to make sure her tooth was ok. I could approximate the edges of the laceration on her lip, so I thought there might be a chance they should/would put in a stitch. I honestly thought they would tell us to keep it clean and make an appointment with the dentist. I couldn't have been more wrong.

She did ok with the doctor. The doctor did the same dance we did to put in one little stitch or not. Finally she decided that we should do the stitch, but there was a catch a BIG catch. The doctor told us that it would be better in the long run for Puddle if we just let the doctor put the stitch in, no numbing meds... Chris went pale. He already felt incredibly guilty because he was the one who told her to get the other train out of her room. Completely not his fault that she then tripped and fell but he still felt very bad. So to hear this, he just wanted to crawl under a rock and die.

The doctor was right. Numbing someone up for stitches is very painful and requires a big needle, plus the meds really burn. If we skipped that, yes it would hurt like hell, but it would be over quick and would only be one much smaller needle.

They also told us that they were going to have to papoose her, and that we could leave if we wanted. I couldn't ever leave them. Chris and I stayed but Chris stayed more in the back and helped the nurse hold her legs. I stayed by her face and tried to make it not so scary. The minute we laid her down she started screaming. That horrible make you heart stop scream. Thank God the doctor was good and fast and within two minutes she was back up.

She continued to scream and cry (can you blame her?!) and tell us 'those people hurt me'. She hit Chris directly in his chest screaming 'you let them hurt me!' Talk about ripping out our hearts. I kept telling her that we were so sorry and that it was all over. Chris made term arrangements to his new home... under the rock.

Before we even came home we stopped off for Motrin and headed right to the toy store. Chris took her by the hand and told her after going through all that she could have whatever she wanted! I thought he might have been kidding, oh no he meant it! LOL Thankfully, my Dino lover only picked two new dino sets. We showed her a few more things but she just wanted her little sets. In Charlotte style she had to hold them through the store.

So far tonight she had some pain when the Motrin wore off. When we gave her more Chris didn't put the bottle up high enough and about 20 mins later she walked back in the living room telling me it didn't work and we had to try again and her 'whip' still hurt.

We have to go to her doctor on Wednesday to get it taken out. I am going to keep an eye on her second top tooth, I think she might loose it before this is all over. We will have to see how that plays out.

Monday, February 21, 2011

The Dandelion Gave Her Smile Back

I haven't blogged in a LONG time! There have been some great things in the past several months and some not so great things. The person I am going to focus on tonight is my Poose.

Life with Poose these past months has not been an easy one. Chris and I have been just dumb struck by it. There have been tears (hers and ours), rage, uncontrolled outbursts, terrible sleep patterns, horrible unfounded fear. We had talked to her doctor about at her well visit and she told us just to keep watching her. So we have been. Then this past Thursday her pre-school teacher took me aside and told me that she has noticed a shift in her focus at school. She said that she was 'drifting off' and her teacher was having to instruct her to do things several times before it clicked and she did them. This was the first time I thought that there really may be something wrong. Nothing fit though. It was a big ball of little things that were not adding up to anything.

Thank God this conversation happened that same day I had an appointment with her doctor because she was still sick. I again talked to her doctor. Told her everything that has been going on. Told her about the bruise that was left on her arm because she was trying to throw herself out of the van at Target. Chris was SO upset! I held nothing back. We aren't perfect either and I wanted to put it ALL out there. We needed help. Again she has told to watch her and completely ignore the tantrums (when we are home) and remove her from the store. Explain to her what our expectations are when we are out, ex. She agreed that it may be a bunch of little things that don't add up to anything, or it might be more. We just needed to give more time.

On the way from the appointment I thought about how we interact with Poose. I came up that maybe we might be babying her and needed to loosen up a little. We have given her a small list of chores. I was also thinking that she might also not being challenged in school and here at home. I asked her about really learning to read better. Right now she can with lots of help sound out a book. But girlfriend wants to read!! I told her that we were going to start working on that. She lit right up!

Isn't it funny that sometimes you just have to go to the doctor and you feel better? This has been Poose. She has been on point all weekend. She is still having sleep problems. That is just ongoing for her. I told Chris tonight that seems to have her smile back. There is this ease that is back in her face when she smiles. We are still taking everything a step at a time. But I think that whatever was haunting her is on it's way out.

I worry more about her then Puddle. I always have. The reason is a simple, I don't know what is in her past. I only have very basic information to go on, and that is saying it is even true. I look to far into everything. She has had a pain in her leg, it is off and on. I was sure there was something really wrong. She hasn't mentioned it again since her last well check.

I think there is a also a large part of me that still (4 years later) is waiting for the other shoe to drop. Chris and I have a family we didn't think we would ever have and we were given these two beautiful girls. I keep waiting for it to all be taken away. To wake up and find this was all just a dream. I am working on this. It is just hard to learn to relax.

I am just glad my big girl was given her smile back.