Our (Not So Quite) Hallmark Moment

Lily has been talking a great deal lately about Guatemala. Last week I had gone into her bedroom to check on her. I found her in a little cubby area. I asked her what she was up to and she told me she was "taking a atend (pretend) shower." After getting a good little giggle from that I left her to finish up. About 10 mins later she came out and asked me to smell her hair, as I was doing this she held out an empty hand and asked me if I liked her new pony. I played along and told her that I thought it was beautiful and asked where she got it. She told me Guatemala. Now I was intrigued so I asked who in Guatemala gave her the new pony for her hair. She told me her "Birthmommy". I asked her if she remembered her Birthmommy's name. She nodded and told me. I told her that she was right and that it was very nice that her Birthmommy gave it to her. Then she said something that stopped my heart.

Lily told me that she had told her Birthmommy thank you for the pony, gave her a hug and kiss and told her that she needed to go back to her Mommy.

For about 30 seconds I didn't know what to say (truly shocking I know :-) Then I just hugged her and she went onto play.

When I told Chris what had happened we talked it over and decided that it was time to pull out the only picture we have of her Birthmother. We would do it on Saturday after swimming while Charlotte was having her nap.

It is hard to describe what I was feeling about what we were going to do. I finally settled on happy and sad. Not sad to share this with her, more sadness because she is growing up. I know that 3 is hardly grown, it just seems like we would have had a little more time to prepare for this. Her adoption is something that is part of her and something that we want her to feel proud about, so we make it as normal as possible. Once we had a doctor ask us if we intended to tell her. Chris stated back with "well one day she is going to realize that she is better looking then us!" She has "known" from the start.

On Saturday we got up and went to swimming like normal. She is really getting good at this! We should have named her Minnow instead of Lilliana! On the way home I told her that she was going to have special time with Mommy and Daddy after Charlotte went to take her nap. She was excited about this.

When Charlotte was down in her crib Chris put the first DVD in. He and I hadn't seen these DVD's since the night before we went to bring her home. She watched it and asked a few questions, but mainly she really wasn't interested! We went through all the DVD's that we had from that time period. When we were done with all the videos we asked her if she would like to see a special picture. Then we showed her. We asked if she knew who was holding the baby in the picture. She piped right up and said Maina (Brianna-our cousin). Brianna does bare a striking resemblance to her Birthmother. We told her the woman in the picture was her Birthmother. She looked at the picture for a about a minute. Then yelled out..

"I gotta go potty!!"

Sigh.... there goes that Hallmark moment!

When she came back she didn't ask anything more or even to see the picture again. She just wanted to play.

Chris and I talked about it more that night and we both think that she is just trying to put it all together in her mind. She is understanding more and more. But there are still big concepts that are still too big for her right now. There is more that we are going to tell her as she gets older that is just for Lily to know. To tell her those things now would only confuse her. Then she can decide to share as she wishes. Right now we are just fine with her taking 'atend' showers and talking to her Birthmommy in her own way.