3 It's Our Magic Number...

A friend of mine once wrote on her blog that when she couldn't get the thought of another child off of her mind, she asked God "to change her mind, or change her heart". I must have read that line years ago and it has stuck with me all this time. I have asked for the same thing, so far the only thing that has happened is that the little seed in my heart has grown.

This past month made it quite clear what we wanted. We thought that by some medical miracle we had become pregnant. I stayed VERY quiet about it (sorry mom). I didn't want to think too much into it knowing full well it more then likely I wasn't- it just isn't possible. But thought we did, excited we got. Just to be told what we already knew. It really happened for a reason, Chris and I talked a lot about what having another child would be like and in the end it made it crystal clear to us that we indeed have room in our hearts (though maybe not our house) for another child.

While growing this little seed in my heart, it has seemed to become rooted on a specific spot. Really no different then when we choose Guatemala for Lily. My heart was sold on those beautiful faces. My heart has fallen in love with Special Need population. Chris wasn't too blown out of the water when I told him this. I worked for 12 years as a Nurse with adults with Special Needs. I grew up with a best friends whose brother and sister were living with Downs Syndrome. The only thing I couldn't really express why. That was until tonight and I was left to entertain myself (dangerous!;-) while he worked on homework. I stumbled onto the story of the Starfish.

Once upon a time there was a wise man that used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work. One day he was walking along the shore. As he looked down the beach, he saw a human figure moving like a dancer.He smiled to himself to think of someone who would dance to the day. So he began to walk faster to catch up. As he got closer, he saw that it was a young man and the young man wasn’t dancing, but instead he was reaching down to the shore, picking up something and very gently throwing it into the ocean.As he got closer he called out, “Good morning, what are you doing?” The young man paused, looked up and replied, “Throwing starfish in the ocean.” “I guess I should have asked, why are you throwing starfish in the ocean?” “The sun is up and the tide is going out. And if I don’t throw them in they’ll die.”“But, young man, don’t you realize that there are miles and miles of beach and starfish all along it. You can’t possibly make a difference!” The young man listened politely. Then bent down, picked up another starfish and threw it into the sea, past the breaking waves and said, “It made a difference for that one.”There is something very special in each and every one of us. We all have a gift – the ability to make a difference. And as we become aware of this gift, we strengthen our vision and power to shape the future. We must each find our starfish. And if we throw our starfish wisely and well, the world will be blessed.

So far this is just in the talking phase and not a step past that. We really can't do anything anyway until Chris is done with school. In a way the wait is just what we need to really think it all the way through. I do admit there is a large part of me that wants Guatemala to get itself together and for adoptions to reopen. That is our very first choice. 3 will be our magic number though. Chris has always just wanted 2 and I wanted 4. So 3 is just perfect for us!! :-)

Craft Time This Morning!

This morning while working on a our Thanksgiving Turkey Hand Crafts, Charlotte surprised Lily and I! She started naming colors. Before today she had only been saying red. This is why I love I get to stay home with them!

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Lily's Big Day!!

****I have a lot more pics, but for some reason I can't flip them. When Chris gets home I will have him look and add them then. ****

Today Lily started preschool! She did great and we held our breathe.

Here is a little insight on Miss Lily. When she gets anxious she talks a lot about Guatemala. A LOT. The more she talks about it the more anxious I know she is becoming. Yesterday, we talked about Guatemala ALL DAY. It started in the morning when I was in the bathroom, she came in (as normal) scooted her little self on the side of the tub and promptly informed me that she wanted to 'talk about Guatemala'. She followed that statement by letting me know that she 'didn't want to go there' and she was 'sad when we leave her there'. I reminded her that we only left because we HAD to but came back as soon as we could, and that she is home forever. I also reminded her that when she is older it is ok if she wants to go back to visit, but that her home was here. She just nodded and repeated that she didn't want to go.

I let it go, we always let her be the Captain of the Guatemala boat. But I knew there was something up. Through the day she was very snuggly. That isn't so normal as much anymore since she decided that she was 40 and would sit in Chris' seat when he isn't home. Remember she is a big girl! We even rested together and watched movie on my bed. I just went with it. Before bed last night there was more Guatemala chats and more reassurance was given that she was home forever. She did concede at one point and tell me that she would go but 'just one time for a little bit'. No problem.

At 530 this morning she wakes up screaming 'Don't leave me!!' over and over again. Chris went to get her and brought her into our bed. While he went to the bathroom I asked her if she was ok, she told me that she was sad because we left her in a store. :*( All 3 of us snuggled up until it was time to get up and ready for school.

She got up very excited, there wasn't anymore talk of Guatemala or being left anywhere. We went over who is allowed to to what to her. The whole, who touches your glasses, earring, Suzie talk. She was right on the ball and very excitedly told me that she will wipe her own butt in school- wouldn't that make any Momma proud!! LOL

We got Charlotte up and off we went! Taking a TON of pictures on the way! We got there a little early- when it only takes literally 2 minutes to get there that tends to happen! We let her get out and we all walked up to the door. It was still closed so we hung out and waited a while. I told her then when it was time to go in the big kids would come out and that Mommy, Daddy and Charlotte would all say good-bye and she would go in without us. Well wouldn't you know the next words out of her mouth were 'I don't want to go to there without you' I asked what she was talking about and if she meant school. She told me 'no Guatemala' sigh.... Rewind the tape. stop.start.

'Lily, baby, you can go to Guatemala whenever you want... when you are older. You aren't going today, and Guatemala isn't behind that door. Your school room is. Mommy and Charlotte will be here at lunchtime to come get you... I promise. ok?'

That seemed to be enough. The older kids came out about a minute later. We did as we told her and said a quick good-bye handed off her bag of supplies. We walked away. And like two big babies CHARLOTTE and I burst into tears! Charlotte kept saying 'WherD Lilu go? WherD Lilu?' Chris told her she was ok and then asked if she wanted to go get a donut... amazingly her crying just stopped. Then she asked Chris 'Momma K?'. We all got home and Chris left for work.

Charlotte and I headed over to the store. I think both she and I are going to need to figure out our new routine too.

Before we knew it was time to go get Lily! We headed back over and she came out smiling ear to ear! Her teacher said she did great and there was no problems at all! She hasn't said one more word about Guatemala or being left behind. Tomorrow she is having a Halloween Party. We are in charge of Napkins! But the looks of the list she is going to have a great party! They are supposed to wear their costumes. They will be trick or treating around the school (just the teachers!).

When we got in the car to come home she announced that she LOVED school and she couldn't wait to go back tomorrow! I asked if she knew the names of anyone or if she played with any of the other little girls, she told not the girls, the little boys (I think somewhere Chris just grabbed his chest! LOL). They class sang itsy bitsy spider, she got to paint, and played doctor. She had a great day!!

Going to the Chapel...

On October 7 Chris' little sister Lizzie got married to a wonderful guy named Jeff. It was a beautiful ceremony on Rehoboth Beach in Delaware. Here are pictures from the day! Enjoy... I do apologize the pics are all out of order thanks to blogger.

Lily and her new 'for real' (her words) Uncle Jeff!

Lizzie, Lily and Jeff

So happy!!

Lily and Grandpa


Charlotte and Grandpa

Lizzie, Charlotte, Jeff, and Lily

Charlotte and Grandpa

Lily and Grandpa

Sweet Charlotte- putting sand in her flower basket!

Sassy Charlotte!

Charlotte and Jeff

Lily building a sand castle

Grandma and Grandpa

Junior bridesmaids and the flower girls- soooo cute!!

our baby

Our two beautiful girls

The new Mr. and Mrs!

Sealed with a kiss!

The Sand Ceremony

Grandma and Grandpa

Charlotte fell asleep right after she completed her flower girl duties! Thank God for that answered prayer- all I asked for was for her to be still, I'll take a quick nap anytime!!

WIDE awake at the reception!

So beautiful!

Our baby (shh don't tell her that she would have a fit!- she is a big girl you know!!)

I think this is a repeat but I am gonna leave it, because it is my blog and I love this picture of them!!

It's a GIRL!!!

Introducing..........

Gracie Lou Freebush AKA Gracie!

She is a 9 week old Beagle! She came home on Friday. We went to visit with her the Sunday before last in the afternoon and met her Momma and Daddy. We asked if the owners would be willing to let us pay a deposit and pick her up after the wedding. They were agreeable to that. It turned out to be a good that we had that week in between. We had time to talk more to the girls about her coming home. Something we weren't expecting was the tears from Lily off and on this week about Beanie. She has talked about him more this week then ever before. We are all adjusting well. You do really forget that having a puppy is very close to having a new baby. With Chris being on a work trip this week it's been fun!! ;-)

She and Gus have been getting along ok. Gus is a shy guy and not at all Alpha-Dog material. We knew when we started thinking about a new friend that we needed to have one that wouldn't come in and rule the roost. So far it looks like we hit it right on the head!

Welcome to our family Sweet Gracie!!

Happy Birthday Sweet Charlotte!!

Dear Charlotte,

Wow, is all I can say! I cannot believe you are two years old already!! This year you have just blossomed into a beautiful little girl. Not much baby Charlotte left. While this makes your Daddy and I sad, we are also feel so happy and blessed that we are able to watch you grow each day. I love to watch you learn something new. My favorite memory of you this year would have to be the day that you discovered the fly in the window. You and I must have sat there for an hour 'talking' all about that little fly. You were just amazed by it. I found that beauty can take form in a little house fly that only little ones take the time to really notice. As I sit here and think back to the days leading up to and your birth I realize that we may not have understood the timing with everything but someone knew that we would be missing a little burst of sunshine. That is why we were given the gift of you. You bring so much joy and happiness into our little house. I don't Lily thinks it is so joyous when you playfully take her favorite toy and take off running squealing with laughter. But, you two love each other so much that alone makes your Daddy and I the happiest. In years to come I hope that you never loose the way that you love. You give it your all, just like you do all things. Whether it is wrestling toys away from Lily, or giving big hugs and kisses to your 'babies' in your bed, or making sure you catch your kiss and put it on your face each night. Charlotte we love you so very much, you truly are an angel sent from heaven and we feel lucky to be your parents.

We love you as high as the sky and as deep as the ocean, and it will never end.

Happy Birthday sweet girl!!!

Love,

Mommy and Daddy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEGAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Happy Birthday to you…You work at a zoo…Charlotte laughs like a monkey…and Lily forgets to say “I pooed” Not the traditional version we have all grown to love, but we are not a traditional family. :)

Today marks the day that my beautiful wife was born. This blog has been to many of you a window into our lives, but sometimes the person who is responsible for this wonderful site goes unnoticed behind the curtains. Today Megan is your day. I wanted to let you and the whole world know how much we all love you. You bring so much happiness into our lives and we are truly blessed to call you “Mommy” and “Wife”. So for this one day Megan stand in front our window and let the whole world see just how special and magnificent you are.

Happy Birthday, Megan

Love,

Chris, Lily, and Charlotte

Disney Day 4 Video!

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Family Memo #1

Dear Patients 0,1&2,

Don't act confused you know who you are and I love you all dearly. I really do, so please do not take offense to this letter. Mommy is just tired, tired of almost 3 full weeks of snot, chicken pox, bronchitis, sinusitis, snot, ear infections (did you see the plural on that? Yes I am talking to you Charley!), snot, vomit, oh yes and my favorite of all of this, the goo-like snot cheesy substance that two of you have decided needs to now come out of your eyes!!! Did I mention the snot?! Mommy does not want to go to the doctor (again) this week, don't mean to keep singling you out Charley I know that you were a little late to the snot party. Thank GOD your doctor took pity on me today and just called your antibiotic in. I just wanted you all to also know that I have no clue why I haven't caught more then this weird half-illness thing from you sick people, but I think that you are ALL in on it!! I don't like it, I am tired of it!! Yes Chris, I have told my body to get sick or get off the pot! So far it is still only half listening!! ARGH!

Do I have to remind y'all that this weekend is Charlotte's birthday party?! Oh yeah, and NEXT week is Lizzie's WEDDING! Snot is not cute on a flower girl... OR THEIR DADDY! Ya'll need to get it together ASAP!

I love love love you!! I just want my healthy family back! Did I mention I am tired of all the snot?! I have been having nightmares about snot! It is like you ALL (yes you too Chris) have turned into Blob people.

Love,

Mommy :-)

PS BLOW YOUR NOSE!!! DID YOU WASH YOUR HANDS?!?!?!

Disney Day 3 Part 1

I don't want to get too far behind, I am afraid I will start to forget things. To keep moving forward Disney Day 3 will be in two parts. Video now, blog this evening!

Enjoy!!

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