Where Do I Even Begin?

When we last left off, Charlotte had an appointment with her Ped on Friday afternoon and Lily was to go to her eye appointment in the morning. As soon as I posted we went into check on Charlotte, she was burning up. Temp was 104.7 (just like Lily's had been) and her breathing sounded very bad. We got her up and put her butt promptly in the tub and we dosed her with more Motrin. When she was in the tub she just sat there, didn't cry, didn't try to get out, just sat. She stayed there for about 40 minutes and we got her out. Her temp had come down to about 103. She still didn't sound good, but we thought that it was just some congestion. We set our alarm clock to check on her even hour.

By 2:30 we decided to put her in bed with us. She slept but not well. I laid next to her just watching her breathe. We made it through the night and she finally fell into a good deep sleep. Chris had gotten up and taken Lily to the eye doctor. I was torn about this. I KNOW Chris is MORE then capable of taking Lily to the eye doctor, and staying with Charlotte. I just felt like they both needed me and I had to choose. In the end I know that Chris and I made a good choice, it became a bonding experience for he and Lily. I will write more about that later.

Once they got home, we called into the Ped office to move up her appointment they weren't able to. We just had to wait it out. Charlotte looked really bad. Her activity level was reduced to sitting on my lap and blinking. Even that was starting to be too much. She had no voice, she could cry but no sound was coming out. Again we thought she was just that congested and kept her drinking. She did eat a piece of toast, but that was it. Finally it was time for her appointment.

We got her there and THANK GOD that she was the very first appointment. Our Ped is still out dealing with her own infection. The doctor that was covering was not the same as on Wednesday. He came to the door and asked me to pull up her shirt and just to continue the 'Mommy Sway'. He just wanted to watch her breathe without having her get upset. His face told me everything... it was bad. He told me that he wanted to give her a Nebulizer treatment. I was on board with this for about a minute longer then Charlotte was. She wanted no part of it at all. We ended up having to restrain her. Remember she had NO voice, she was sitting on my lap screaming with no sound. It was terrifying to me. When it was done I just scooped her up and told that I was so sorry. For the very first time ever in a doctors office I cried. I was just terrified that no one seemed to know what was wrong and she was just getting worse. I just held on to her and we rocked and cried together.

When the Neb didn't work the doctor's face really became intense, and he told me it was time for us to go to the ER. Beyond that he didn't feel it was safe to have me drive over there and he was calling 911. The doctor had to call Chris as my cell phone was MIA. Chris got to work trying to find someone to stay with Lily, I had to van and both car seats. He forgot that it was Friday and not everyone has that day off. In the meantime the ambulance showed up and took us over. The doctor we had seen in the office called ahead so that the Ped on call knew that we were coming.

By this point Charley didn't care what they were doing to her as long as she could cling to my chest. They did her vitals and told me that the doc would be in soon. She and I hung out on the bed I just rocked her and hummed her song. About 15 mins later Chris and LILY came around the corner. All Chris said was don't ask... You know me... Of course I grilled him! He had put her in Juice's booster that we keep here for visits. OK not as Britney Spearish as I thought at first! :-)

A few minutes the Doc came in. He talked with us about what was going on. Then he stopped mid sentence and said that he didn't like how she was breathing- she had started to re-track in her ribs. He went out and ordered a STAT breathing treatment. He was really awesome. He was worried, I could tell that, but he handled it a hell of a lot better. I felt like he was worried but in control of what was going on. In less then a half a minute there was a respiratory tech in our room. Lily LOVED him... he had stickers. Charlotte was not very impressed. He gave her an Epinephrine Neb. This one went much better. I think it helped that I told him we were not going to restrain her. He was gentle and she was done in no time. The doctor also ordered a heavy steroid to be given by mouth. He told us that we were going to have to stay at least a while to see if this was going to help her. Then he broke the news that he was very confident that she had Viral Croup.

I guess I never really understood what Croup was. I always thought it was a term to describe the sound of a cough. The doctor told us that it was a virus that infected her vocal cords, esophagus, and surrounding tissue. He said that the 'wheezing' sound that we heard was NOT wheezing, it was the sound actually of how tight her trachea was. We learned later that it wouldn't have taken much more for her airway to have collapsed.

The doctor kept checking in on her, the meds weren't working as quick as he had hoped. After about 3 hours post meds we were told that it was going to be in our best interest to have her stay at least overnight. Then he asked me where I wanted her transferred if the need arose. I told him University of Maryland, he nodded and walked out. Chris and Lily were out breaking the law again to get our van and the real car seats from the Ped office when he came in and told me this. When the doctor left I looked down at Charlotte in my arms sleeping (thankfully) and then looked up and prayed to God to make my baby well, then I cried again....

Chris was able to get a hold of his sister who was able to keep Lily for us for the weekend. Lily took a vacation during all of this! He was able to get back to the hospital before they moved us to the Ped floor.

Charlotte was the only patient on the floor and the Ped nurses went out of their way to make her and us as comfortable as possible. Chris could not stay the night, but could stay very late and come back very early. They brought Charlotte some dinner. They asked what she liked then started rattling off items. In the end Charlotte had her favorite dinner. Chicken Nuggets, mac&cheese, and applesauce. Let me tell you Girlfriend ATE! LOL

A while later Chris got ready to leave for the night Charlotte was just about asleep. He helped me unfold the chair bed. I looked at it, then him and said something about not it having it matter as I really didn't plant to sleep. He told me to think of it like camping out.. or like we were at our resort at Disney. Yeah... he thinks he is a comic! :-)I wasn't as impressed!

Charlotte slept but it was very broken. Oh I almost forgot. When Chris came back to the hospital he brought Peggy! This is her penguin lovey. She grabbed up on Peggy and didn't let go. In the middle of the night though Peggy couldn't even really help. She was in pain every time she coughed. They gave her Tylenol and that helped, finally around 530 she fell into a deeeeep sleep. She slept until the doctor came in to check on her. We knew she was feeling at least a little better when she looked at the doctor pointed and said 'no, no, no!' Her voice was still very muted, but at least she wanted to say something. We were told that we could go home and to just keep an eye on her. She was sent home on two more days of steroids.

We got her home and put her right into the tub! Washed off the icky hospital germs. She did lay down for a nap.. and so did we! She only slept for an hour and a half. She got to have ice cream for dinner and went down at 5:30. She was falling asleep on me so we went ahead and put her down. I got into bed at 7 but was still too keyed up. I think it was closer to 10 when I finally fell asleep. Charlotte got up once around 2 and was up for about an hour. She did let Chris hold her, he got her settled about an hour later. She then slept until 830 this morning!

Today she is back more to her normal self. Her voice is still muted, she sounds like she has a cold now. She has also started to have more of the trademark barking cough today. She had sounded like a squeaky toy when she coughed! But as of tonight she was back to running Lily all over the house and even had a good couple squeals!

I will never curse those squeals again!