The Fever That Would Not End...

All throughout the day yesterday Lily still seemed a little off. She felt warm, but not burning up at all. I thought that maybe the fever had really just taken a lot out of her. I just let her call the shots on what she did. The biggest thing I noticed is that her appetite was basically gone. She would drink, but would only take a few bites and then say she was done.

Last night I made spaghetti a Lily favorite and she just picked at it. When she was getting down I was holding her under her arms helping her down and she felt really hot. ...crap...

I took her temp 103.5 at this point it was about 10 till 6 and we tired to call into her Ped's office. We got her Nurse and told her what was going on. We found out that our Ped had surgery over the weekend and had gotten an infection and was now admitted in the hospital herself. She advised us to take Lily over to the Patients First Clinic and have her seen asap.

Lily and got ourselves together and off we went. They checked everything, Strep Throat, Pneumonia, UTI, and did a finger stick. They only thing that they could come up with is it is a middle ear infection. The doctor there gave her a pretty strong antibiotic and told me give her a loading dose when we got home along with a large dose of Motrin.

Here is the funny thing... apparently when Lily's fever gets really high, so does she. She was like a little drunk person, and VERY talkative. She asked every question under the sun. She asked all about the doctor, then when he left she broke into song. At one point I found myself begging her (in my head) to NOT remember something we have been learning. You will understand when you read this chat...

L: (singing) ducky, bear, bear, I love duckies, bear, bear.
She stopped suddenly and looked at me
L: Mommy who is that?
M: I think he is the doctor.
L: No, he is a blue shirt
M: OK but I think that he is the doctor too
L: No he is a man, not a a doctor (then she started singing again) a man, a man, man manman

We have been learning what makes a girl a girl and a boy a boy. Just using simple terms. I sat planted in my seat her on my lap, and turned blood red. Silently I begged her to not in that one moment remember what he has that she doesn't. Thankfully she didn't and when she was done singing she rested on me again.

The good news is that we checked on her several times after we put her to bed and each time she was more and more sweaty. The last time we checked I took her temp again and it was 98.0. So far today she is still a little slow especially this morning. Right now she is napping. I told her the doctor said she had too, and we have to do what the doctor says :-) I think that we on the right track though.

The one thing I couldn't help but think about is how parents with VERY sick children do it. I was so scared that I was going to hear something horrible last night once the tests came back. This fever was just so out of left field and she has never once complained of ear pain, before or after going into be seen. I am very grateful that our kids and as healthy as they are.

She Gives Me Fever

We had a very nice weekend until Sunday night. I will post about the great part very soon. Tonight though I am still in very sick kid mode.

Sunday was a normal day. We said good-bye to my parents and Juice in the morning, then headed over to see Chris' sister and her very beautiful wedding dress. The girls were great. We came home from there just in time for lunch and nap. When the girls got up (yes Lily slept first red flag) and we headed out for dinner. Chris was given a gift card for Outback we went early enough that there wasn't a wait at all. It was nice and the girl's did very well. We don't do that really enough. From there we headed over to Target and then home. It was a normal night.

At 11:45 that night we heard Lily on the monitor. It sounded like she was having a nightmare. Chris went in to see what was going on. Lily was about to jump out of her bed. She was half asleep, half awake, yelling that her feet hurt. I stood her up thinking that maybe she was having a Charlie Horse. She couldn't stand. I sat her back down and started pushing down her legs and all over her feet. No pain and she started to calm down. I asked if she wanted to go to the bathroom. She did, but still wouldn't walk. She kept just saying that it hurt and that she hurt them when she stepped on a toy. I am thinking that maybe she was dreaming. That was until I picked her up out of the bed and held her close to me. She was burning up.

Lily has been home with us for 2.5 years. She has NEVER had a fever. Charlotte has never had a fever. This was out of left field. While she was on the potty Chris got the thermometer and when she was done we took into our room and I took her temp. The few times I thought they had fevers I take them rectally. It was 102.5. We got out the Motrin and a water cup. After she took that we sat on the bed with her for a little while. Then in a blink of an eye she turned a lovely shade of green and vomited all over herself, me and our bed. That earned a trip to the tub. She was not happy about that, but started to look and sound better. Once we got her out we hung out back in our room. I checked her temp again and she was down to 101.7. She was sleepy so we went ahead and put her back in her bed. She slept right through until the morning.

When we all got up she still felt a little warm but she was normal Lily. We went ahead and gave her another dose of Motrin. She played through the morning and around lunchtime she was asking me if I remembered her getting soap in her eyes. I really didn't. She plays a lot of pretend games so I wasn't sure if she was playing or not. Looking back now she was saying that because her eyes were burning from the fever. She had lunch then in for nap, she fell asleep again. 45 mins later she is thrashing in our bed. We hear her and tear off in to the room. I swear to God she felt like she was on fire. Chris went right into start another bath while I took her temp. it was 104.7 HOLY CRAP! I run to get her in the tub. She is screaming because she is soooo cold and upset. Chris is on the phone with our Ped. She tells us what to do. We were to give her a dose and a half of Motrin, keep her in the tub as long as she would let us, recheck her temp in 3 hours, if it wasn't down to give her Tylenol, wait an hour if she still wasn't down to take her the ER.

The worst part of this tub was that she had to pee. I did not want to move her in and out of the luke warm water. So I told her to just go (gross I know- I really was worried I would throw her into shock) she started SCREAMING that she could not do that. So I went against my better judgement and took her out and sat her on the potty. She was like a limp noodle. I could feel her heart beating on my hand when I reached to get her off. I was sooo scared. I put her back in the water and kept squeezing water over her and telling her that I was sorry. It was really sad.

Finally I decided that I could not torture her anymore. Chris got her out a tank and a pull up. I wrapped her in the towel and took her back into our bedroom. Got the little bit of clothes on her and made her lay down with us. We put in Nemo to watch. She asked for something to drink. We gave her a cold water cup. She took 3 sucks and promptly threw up again. Loosing all the Motrin we had just given her. I cleaned her up while Chris paged the Ped again. She changes her over to Tylenol suppositories. FANTASTIC! Chris ran out to get them while I stayed back.

I gave these things all the time when I was a Nurse. Doing it to your baby is a whole new level. Like we always do we told her that we didn't know if it was going to hurt but I was going to be as quick as I could and that Daddy would hold her hands. She didn't like it but it was in and done. We watched the rest of Nemo. I must have checked her forehead 3 million times. After the movie she came down to 103.6.

We let her play quiet things in the afternoon and evening. The sad part is trying to have her understand why she couldn't have certain things like milk and her blanket on her bed. We made a very big deal over putting her blanket back on her bed tonight.

We kept up with the Tylenol every 4 hours throughout the day. This morning I tried the Motrin again and prayed. Finally at 3pm today after 36 hours her temp was back to normal. She has been a little teary tonight, and clingy. Her appetite still isn't quite right. But that is about it. Thankfully Charlotte hasn't show any signs of this. C Bear was very sweet to her sister over the past few days. Giving extra hugs and loves to Lily.

The Big Day!!!

Tonight is Chris' Graduation! Lily is very excited for Chris to wear his 'very handsome blue nightgown' AKA his graduation robe. We also made Chris a shirt that say This Dad is a Grad! they are going to wear them after the ceremony. I am charging the camera as I am typing this so I will have tons more to share tomorrow!

Poopcasso

This is Charlotte's new nickname. She has gotten into her diaper three times now! Even through a onesis barrier! She is such a hot baby, so we have not been putting her in the heavy fleece sleepers. Thankfully we found a few light weight ones at Target. She was madder then mad the first night we put it on. She pulled at the tab/zipper. Even tried to chew through it! But she didn't get into her diaper!

I know this sounds really gross but I think that it is a texture thing for her. It has stopped for now, even on the nights that we don't use the full sleeper. We are hopeful that this was a short phase! Chris and I laugh all the time and say that Charlotte was sent to us to make sure we got the full parenting experience! I guess if nothing else she has made us immune to pretty much anything! Thank goodness she is soooo stinking cute!

Priceless

4 boxes of chocolate cake mix -$ 3.00

1 roll of paper towels to clean up the mess- $0.50

1 afternoon of sweet giggles from a 3 year old- priceless!

Chris asked me to make cupcakes to take into work as a thank you for being supportive through this past semester of school. Yesterday we got to work! I made the first half during nap/rest time. Then when Lily came out we got to work on the second half. It was a huge mess but a lot of fun! She has really been wanting to help more and more in the kitchen lately and has been very interested in what I do when I say I am 'cooking'. It was one of those moments I just wanted to freeze in time. She is getting to darn big! :-)

Ultimate Expression of Love

First off I want to thank you all for leaving such sweet comments for Matthew and us. We did have a nice day of talking about him and thinking back to those days before we lost him. Leslie asked if we know if he was ever adopted and we honestly don't know. We have thought about searching, maybe one day we will. I am afraid to do that after things about our now closed agency have come to light. It is hard to know what to believe...

Moving on to a happier topic.....

Yesterday Charlotte brought the whole big box of dog biscuits in from the kitchen and started handing them out to our dogs. They LOVE when she does this! Well of course Lily had to join in as well. I was watching them handing them out and Charlotte brought me one. I told her to go ahead and give it to the dogs and she laughed and trotted off to give it. Lily then walked up to me with a biscuit and said 'Mommy if you were a doggie I would give you a biscuit too.' I have never been told I love you quite like that! It really was the ultimate expression of love!

Happy Birthday Sweet Boy

Today, somewhere in the world our Matthew turns 4 years old.

The feelings that surround Matthew's loss is hard for people to understand unless you lived through a failed adoption. We were in process (paper pregnant) for a little over 5 months. When we lost him it was as if he died. He was pulled away from us so fast it made our world spin. Until the exact time of that call we thought everything was going perfectly.

We loved Matthew, we love Matthew. We would have given him a home full of laughter and love. His loss is no less just because we didn't carry him. We never held him in our arms but that doesn't mean we aren't as broken by his absence. Some would think that with time his memory would just fade off, especially since we have our girls. Not even close to true. If anything it makes it that much harder. Not that we would trade a second with them or wish he were here instead. In a perfect world we would have them all in our arms everyday. He would be running with Chris through the boy sections of Disney this fall and love all things Star Trek. But that wasn't meant to be. Instead we are here mourning for our baby who we only ever touched through a computer screen, but love with every bit of our hearts.

This year Chris and I choose to do things a little different. We sponsored a little boy on the Salvation Army Angel Tree that was Matthew's age at Christmas. It brought us great happiness to give to another little boy. Even more Chris and I were able to shop without the girls it was nice to really be able to think about what Matthew would like at his age. It was comforting in way.

I am in a much better place with his loss then in years past. Will I ever be over it? No chance. His loss was the single saddest of our lives and marriage. I think of him everyday, even more so on May 18th(his birthday), and January 18th(the day he was taken). I will be thinking of him at Lily and Charlotte's Graduations, at their weddings. I am sure I will be blogging 16 years from now when he turns 20 and have the same tear stained face. For those 5 very short months he was our baby, our Son, and he will never be forgotten.

We love you so very much Matthew! Happy 4th Birthday sweet boy...

From Where You Are

Lifehouse

So far away from where you are

These miles have torn us worlds apart

and I miss you

I miss you

So far away from where you are

I'm out standing underneath the stars

and I wish you

were here

I miss the years that were erased

I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face

I miss all the little things

I never thought that they'd mean everything to me

I miss you

and I wish you

were here

I feel the beating of you heart

I see the shadows of your face

Just know that wherever you are

I miss you

and I wish you

were here

So far away from where you are

These miles have torn us worlds apart

I miss you, I miss you

and I wish you

were here....

Disney Websites

A few Mommy's asked where I get all of my super cool info about the 'Happiest Place On Earth" I LOVE to share sooooo here it goes...

www.disney.com
The main man Mickey's site!

http://disneyworld.disney.go.com/
More centered for the vacation planning

www.allears.net
This site gives you insights on what is new and happening, also lets you preview menus in the parks before you make your ressie.

www.wdwinfo.com
By far my favorite site. It is my new Adoption.com! I go there for everything!

www.mousesavers.com
This site gives tips on how to not take out a small loan to go to Disney!

www.disneyphotopass.com
This is a program in Disney that takes your pictures and then will add in characters from the park. You can also add boarders and titles to the pictures.

www.laughingplacestore.com
A store I stumbled on looking for autograph books. I haven't bought from this site.

http://coronado_springs.tripod.com/
This is where we are staying!

http://s3.excoboard.com/exco/index.php?boardid=9723
This is a nice way to give back. These ladies are in contact with people traveling through the Make A Wish program. They help make the trip just a little more magical for the families.

http://www.stitchkingdom.com/disneysphotopass/
More info on the Photo pass program

https://www.gardengrocer.com
Since we are flying I found out that we don't have to carry so many needed items with us on the plane. This website allows you to pre-purchase groceries and then for a small fee ($12.00) they will deliver them to you. I checked them out last night and found that the items we were looking for were well within normal range price wise. I am putting our order in Friday.

http://www.magicalkingdoms.com/timers/
Where I have made tickers for a Disney board. If you want the name plate just click on it and it will take you right to the site! For Blog Spot you need the smaller one.

http://clipart.disneysites.com/
Free Disney Clip Art!

http://www.passporter.com/wdw/
The website partner for the Passporters Guide to Walt Disney World. This is the only planning book I have bought.

http://www.mousemisers.com/
Good info!

http://www.i95exitguide.com/index.php
A guide to 95

www.southwest.com
where we booked the flights!

This is how I have spent my nap times and evenings for the past 3 months! I hope you find it all as useful as I have!

Disney Update

Are we crazy?? Well maybe a little... but we also know what our parenting limits are. For that reason Chris heard words that strike fear in him... "I have been thinking..." I have no clue why he turns a different shade every time I say that. :-)

Well last night we talked, and talked, and talked about our mode of transportation to get to Disney. There were valid pros and cons for both flying and driving. We had found really cheap flights on Southwest. By really cheap I mean $49 flights cheap. In the end we chose to sleep on it and look at it again this morning. By this morning of course the flight costs had gone up. But we were determined to NOT ride 14 hours over two days in the van. We found that when we flexed our dates that just by moving it by a few days made a world of difference and made the $49 flights reappear! Plus Southwest doesn't charge for your first two bags per person. That is a bonus in itself.

I had to wait to call into Disney until this morning to see if the new dates were available. Thankfully they were! While I was on hold with Disney waiting for the confirmation I went ahead and booked the flights! OMG!

The dates have been changed to 9/7-9/14. Only a change of four days.

I don't like to fly, I dread it, but I dread hours of unhappy children even more. I will take two hours of upset over 14 anytime. Chris really didn't care one way or another, but understands where I am coming from. We don't have to rent a car, Disney picks you up from the airport and takes you to your resort. Heck, you don't even have to pick up your luggage they deliver that to you!

Needless to say Lily was VERY excited this morning to find out we were going to ride in an airplane. It was great to hear her very accurately articulate what happens "We go up up up in the air, then down down to see Mictey!"

The funny thing is that even though I don't like to fly, I feel at peace with this. Just like when we switched resorts, it was the right decision to make both times.

LISTED!

On the DEAN'S LIST that is!! My husband is a genius! He had his Math final last night. His professor didn't grade them at the end of class. Chris give him our email address and this morning I was woken up by a BEAMING hubby!

He scored over 100% and his final grade was an A!!!!!

Final score two A's on the finals and nearly perfect scores for both classes!

While Chris was taking his final I worked off some nervous energy with the girls by putting together a little surprise party for him. We blew up balloons, put up streamers, and made posters. The girls had such a good time. Lily 'wrote' all over the poster in her own language telling Chris that she loved him and congratulations. It was really sweet! We also picked up a small cake and put that out. Lily insisted on a candle! Chris was very surprised when he got home.

His graduation is next Thursday. He has off a week and a half before he starts the summer session at UMUC.

As always his girls are VERY proud of him! Go, Daddy, Go Daddy!!! :-)